The feeling when you hold your book for the first time…

… is amazing.

And I mean THE book. The final copy which you are proud of and pleased with and willing to put out there in the market. Sure you get proof copies, but they’re just not the same because you know there’s something incomplete in it, and your happiness is marred by your desire to fix all the things and hold the final version in your hands.

I finally have that version. I’d been checking my mailbox for the last few days, and each time I found it empty I would get a sinking feeling in my chest. But I have it now, and I’m so incredibly happy!

Isn’t it awesome? I love it!

I won’t claim to know what a mother feels when she holds her baby for her first time, but it kinda feels like that. Well… at least to me. My friends know that I think of my books as my children, and using that analogy, Puppet Parade is my first child, haha. I still can’t believe that I made it, though. I mean… flipping through the pages, reading bits and pieces from every chapter, it’s rather surreal to think that I actually wrote it.

However, as I come closer and closer to the release date, I can’t help but feel anxious. Up till now only a few people have read it, and even though I’ve received positive reviews from every one of them, I have to wonder if I’ve just been lucky. Sure there will be some people who will hate it and call it the worst book ever, you can’t please everyone after all, but the thing is that I’ve only been used to receiving positive reviews all my life, so I have no idea what I’ll do when I receive that first bad review. I suspect I’ll probably wallow up in self-pity somewhere for a few days, haha. Authors can be so incredibly vain sometimes, and I’m definitely no exception.

I guess I will only find out after the book is released, and that should be soon! I hope you’ll read it when it finally comes out!

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6 thoughts on “The feeling when you hold your book for the first time…

    • Zen says:

      Thank you! =D Good luck with yours too! I admit I haven’t written in a while as well; I’ve been mostly focusing on reviewing this one and trying to promote it, haha.

  1. I hope the release goes well. I love the cover, very nice.

    As for the dreaded Bad Review, just remember that we have so many different genres and authors for a reason. There are so many different tastes, none of which are right or wrong. I’d take any bad reviews in stride and just keep moving on to the next story, and the next. It’s what you have control over. Unless there’s something you can learn from the negative feedback of a bad review, it’s just so much noise trying to distract you from that forward motion.

    • Zen says:

      Aww, thank you. =D And you’re right of course; it’d be silly to think that every single person on this planet will love my book, but the first bad review is something I dread. I guess I should probably treat it as a milestone of some sort, no?

      • Yeah, that sounds like a good plan. Kind of like your first official rejection. Not pleasant, but I suspect they might get easier as time goes on. It’s definitely a your mileage may vary situation though. I imagine some people never get used to it, but I guess those ones either learn to insulate themselves from it somehow or quit publishing altogether.

        • Zen says:

          Exactly! Boy that first rejection was a sore one, but I gradually learned to take them in a stride. =]

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