Blindness has always been a great fear of mine. So much in my life depends on my eye sight that I feel I would be completely lost without it – writing, reading, translating, chatting with my fiancé over IM, staying in touch with my overseas friends, even watching TV and going to the movies… or just simply going about my normal life unassisted. I know these might sound like mundane things in the grand scheme of things, and I know there are probably alternatives, but these mundane things are an essential to me, and losing any of them would send me spiraling down a bottomless pit of depression.
Before I say anything else… no, don’t worry – I’m not going blind. However, during this past week, I’ve been forced to live like a blind person for a couple of days. It wasn’t some sort of dare or social experiment… but rather a result of my severe clumsiness syndrome; basically, I accidentally scratched my cornea with a pen.
Yes, it is as painful as it sounds.
Of course, it doesn’t help that I’m allergic to almost everything. Seriously, for some reason I always suffer from all the adverse effects associated with any medicine.
The point is, I could not see. Or rather, I was not able to open my eye because every time I blinked my eyelids would grate against the scratch and cause it to unravel. Why didn’t I open my other eye then? Well… I tried, but the act put pressure on my injured eye and it really hurt, so I had to keep both my eyes closed. It was really frustrating. Whenever I tried to move I would keep my hands outstretched before me so that I can grope my way in the darkness… and I still got bruises bumping into things. For the most part I stayed in bed, either trying to ignore the throbbing in my eye or else trying to sleep off the pain. I was bored out of my skull… and during these moments when you’re most idle, you start getting paranoid.
What if I go blind? What if my eye never mends and I have to spend the rest of my life like this?
Thankfully, my doctor put my worries to rest. I’m now wearing a protective/corrective contact lens and administering three eye drops religiously every hour. I took the past week off work and avoided all sorts of screen and written words. It still hasn’t healed completely, but it feels SO much better. And hey, I can see! Not going blind any time soon. I do now appreciate my eye sight greatly though… aaand I sort of developed a fear of sharp or pointy objects anywhere near my face, which isn’t very productive for when I’m trying to use my eye drops, haha.
Have you ever had to go through something like this? What do you think you’d miss the most if you were to become blind?