I haven’t written a single word in any of my WIPs in a long, long time… approximately eight months. I haven’t even done any editing on my novel that I was supposed to publish last year, titled The Muse Bunny. I have all but completely neglected my blog, which I used to try to update at least once a week. I miss it terribly, more than I can express. It’s not a case of Writer’s Block, and it’s not that I lack inspiration… it’s more because my creativeness is almost fully contractually bound.
In July 2013 I signed a game writer contract, and it has been a blast. I feel this will be the best job I ever have during my entire life time, and it saddens me that my contract will end next month and I’ll be back to scouring the job market in April… but at the same time, a tiny part of me is glad… the part that yearns to write something that’s actually mine, something that does not fall under the property of the company producing this video game.
I feel a bit guilty and selfish for complaining like this, but I can’t help it. I miss all my manuscripts, stashed away in dark corners of my laptop, collecting dust and cobwebs. I miss my characters, who have been shoved to the side by all the rowdy, problematic game characters each demanding some screen time. I even miss those plot bunnies that have yet to be transformed into actual words and sentences.
And I know, I really know that my writing will probably never give me a fat paycheck at the end of the month, and I should be thankful that I have a job, but… I miss it. I miss it when I get a new idea and I have to force it away or decide whether to use it for myself or for the game. I miss it every time I read a marvelous new book. I miss it when I catch sight of my very own Puppet Parade paperback and think, “Why aren’t there more?”
Some of you might say, so why don’t you make the time for it? And I guess I could, but when your job involves creative writing and storytelling, it feels like you’re wasting time writing for fun when you could be writing for work instead.
To those who do have time to write, I am not ashamed (okay so maybe a little ashamed >.>) to say that I’m kinda envious of you. I wish I could write, too. To those who haven’t been writing and miss it quite terribly, I sympathize with you to no end.
When was the last time real life came between you and your writing? How long did it last? Did you miss it too?
P.S. I’m still being sent to spam queues. 😦 I’ve contacted Automattic about it (thanks, Robin!), but until the issue is resolved – please do keep checking your queues for my poor comments!