I miss writing.

I haven’t written a single word in any of my WIPs in a long, long time… approximately eight months. I haven’t even done any editing on my novel that I was supposed to publish last year, titledΒ The Muse Bunny.Β I have all but completely neglected my blog, which I used to try to update at least once a week.Β I miss it terribly, more than I can express. It’s not a case of Writer’s Block, and it’s not that I lack inspiration… it’s more because my creativeness is almost fully contractually bound.

In July 2013 I signed a game writer contract, and it has been a blast. I feel this will be the best job I ever have during my entire life time, and it saddens me that my contract will end next month and I’ll be back to scouring the job market in April… but at the same time, a tiny part of me is glad… the part that yearns to write something that’s actually mine, something that does not fall under the property of the company producing this video game.

I feel a bit guilty and selfish for complaining like this, but I can’t help it. I miss all my manuscripts, stashed away in dark corners of my laptop, collecting dust and cobwebs. I miss my characters, who have been shoved to the side by all the rowdy, problematic game characters each demanding some screen time. I even miss those plot bunnies that have yet to be transformed into actual words and sentences.

And I know, I really know that my writing will probably never give me a fat paycheck at the end of the month, and I should be thankful that I have a job, but… I miss it. I miss it when I get a new idea and I have to force it away or decide whether to use it for myself or for the game. I miss it every time I read a marvelous new book. I miss it when I catch sight of my very ownΒ Puppet ParadeΒ paperback and think, “Why aren’t there more?”

Some of you might say, so why don’t you make the time for it? And I guess I could, but when your job involves creative writing and storytelling, it feels like you’re wasting time writing for fun when you could be writing for work instead.

To those who do have time to write, I am not ashamed (okay so maybe a little ashamed >.>) to say that I’m kinda envious of you. I wish I could write, too. To those who haven’t been writing and miss it quite terribly, I sympathize with you to no end.

When was the last time real life came between you and your writing? How long did it last? Did you miss it too?

P.S. I’m still being sent to spam queues. 😦 I’ve contacted Automattic about it (thanks, Robin!), but until the issue is resolved – please do keep checking your queues for my poor comments!

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33 thoughts on “I miss writing.

  1. I’ve got two WIPs I’ve started, one last summer and one a couple months ago, and I haven’t gotten back to them yet. I’m in law school currently, and it plays havoc with my writing schedule. I do miss it. 😦 But hopefully once I get out of school and get a steady job and routine, I’ll get back to regular novel-writing again…

    • I have a friend who attended law school, and I never saw her without a school book of some sort, so I can understand why you’d be so busy! Also – I hate to be the one to say this, but I thought I’d have more time to write when I got a job. That was not the case. >.>

  2. I’ve had several times where work has kept me from writing. Frustrating but I realize that life is a series of chapters. We can’t always do everything at once even though we wish we could. Your manuscripts will wait for you. They’re good like that. In the meantime, congrats on everything else you’re accomplishing!

  3. I think writing misses you too Zen!
    Right now real life is imposing on my writing – I need to create online articles for my job; I need to write a review on a poetry anthology; and I have a thesis to start! Grrrrrrrrr!
    I think at the end of the day much of our complaints are logical excuses – there are available facts to prove these obstacles exist to prohibit us from contributing to our own creative works, but at day’s end, we ourselves know we could sneak just a iddy biddy bit of time in, yet we don’t. Do you believe this to be true Zen?
    I wish you the best of luck with your creative endeavors!

    • I’m not sure it’s true! Well… it could be, but it’d be at the expense of something else. If you like to watch TV shows or sink into a novel, you’d have to choose between doing these activities or writing! And usually, with shows and novels, you get instant gratification… as opposed to writing. So when you finish your work, and you’re all tired… you want something that cheers you up, no?

      I wish you all the luck too, Derek!

  4. Christine Elizabeth says:

    Real life has been getting between my writing and me for waaaaay too long. Even now, as I’m preparing to publish a book on March 1st and am working on editing Novel Two, I’m still not actually writing anything new. I have resolved to better utilize my free time and to do 30 minutes of yoga every day after work to clear my mind of all the stress, so we’ll see how that helps.

    Good luck with your own writing and with finding a new job! ❀

    • Oh you’re publishing a novel? Awesome! Self-publishing or traditional publishing? Yoga sounds like a nice way to get relaxed! πŸ™‚

      Thank you, Lizzie! ❀

  5. I’m sure it has been hard for you to be away from your writing. It’s not fun to look for new work, but it will be nice that you can get back to writing for yourself. I wonder how all of your game writing will impact your personal writing? I suspect it will have only made you better. I’m looking forward to The Muse Bunny.

    I took off about six months from writing last year. At the time, it was a much needed break, and I didn’t mind not writing.

    • Hmm. I’m not sure actually; I do hope it’s for the better! πŸ˜‰ I really hope to be able to publish TMB this year. This is a novel that has spent more than six years in the making, so it’s about time I release it!

      I think it’s different when you impose the break on yourself, rather than have it forced on you… no?

  6. I spent most of 2013 writing novellas for quick cash payments and all the time Novel Two was lying on the sidelines, 1/4 completed, largely abandoned. I too kept wishing for writing time and it pained me to think that I might never complete it.
    Now that some of the novella contracts have ended, I am both missing the income, but glad of the extra time it gives me to work on Novel Two – now 1/3 done. πŸ˜€ It’s bitter-sweet, but for the best, I think.

    • I think I’ll be experiencing some of that bitter sweetness pretty soon myself! I will definitely miss my job, but… my reunion with my manuscripts will be awesome I think. πŸ˜€

      Good luck with your writing!

  7. Sadly, life comes between me and writing every day. I also have a small job writing, but not my novels or whatever. I write as much as I can, but it never seems to be enough, and when I have time, I’m rapidly pounding through my “checklist of neglect” (the budget, my hygene, my wife, etc). So the best we can do is snag those little moments and write as much as we can, I suppose. That’s what I try to do,anyway.
    By the by, what’s a WIP?

    • Ha, now that you mention it, I have a checklist of neglect too. xD And I suppose that’s true, but sometimes those moments are just too difficult to snag.

      A WIP is a work in progress. πŸ™‚

  8. I think your job sounds fantastic, Zen – and all this creativity will carry over into your novel writing. We have to pay the bills and I can’t think of anything better than a writing job doing that. Best of luck when the contract is over – any chance they’ll sign you on again or is that the end of the job?

    • It is a pretty spiffy job. xD And they’ve already renewed my contract once, but after the project is completely, my work will be done with them, I’m afraid. 😦

  9. Recently I was pretty ill with a cold, my brain was so clouded I couldn’t even look at the page let alone get anything down on it! I really missed writing in those few days. it feels almost like an addiction to write everyday now πŸ˜€ But real life happens and we got to deal with it, so just keep going through and there will come a time when you can do nothing but write πŸ™‚

    • Actually I find that when I’m sick I’m able to be relatively productive with my writing! Or my reading, depends on what I’m in the mood for. xD And I really hope for the day when I have to worry about nothing but getting that next book churned out.

      Thank you for stopping by!

  10. You’re so right, when your job is so creative it’s hard to then reboot that creativity for one’s personal projects as well. It’s like there’s only so much creativity one can use and shape in one day! But it sounds like you’re making the most out of this great job and as the others have said, your projects will be there waiting for you when you have more time.

  11. Plot bunnies…so cute!

    I’ve never had a specific creative writing job, but I would imagine it would be quite natural for it to take you away from novels and blogging. The closest I came was a marketing assistant position, which did involve quite a bit of writing, and it did affect my free time projects.

    So awesome that you had this experience though! I remember when you first started and I thought how cool it was. On to the next adventure!

    • Haha, I’ve always referred to them as plot bunnies. xD

      It does! I didn’t think it’d take up so much time and effort when I first started, but… well, we saw how that went. It is very awesome though, and I’m very happy! Here’s hoping the next adventure is just as good. πŸ˜€

  12. The end of last year… got a new job that meant I had less time to write. I’ve managed to keep up with blogging, but haven’t been able to work on any of larger stories. Definitely miss it. But, I am enjoying the new job so that makes the sting a bit less.

  13. I’m a bit envious of your job (it sounds like the coolest job in the world), but I hear you. I’m still in college and even though I’ve always written for myself, I’ve never been able to give it an honest shot between work and school. A reason why I started my blog is to get myself to make more time for writing. It’s a really dismal feeling to have the tools to write, but not the time or energy. I imagine it’s worse when you have to ration your creative juices.

    Hang in there, and good luck!

    • It is a pretty swell job! College was absolutely terrible for my writing too; I could barely find time for it and had to take advantage of NaNoWriMo instead. Maybe you should try it too. πŸ™‚

      Thank you!

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